Okay, that title describes most of these jokes. But still.
21. Andreanett J., Gadsden, AL
The wrapper actually says "Gadsen" but I'm pretty sure that's a typo. As for Andreanett, you're on your own with that one.
Why did the old woman tie skates on the rocking chair?
Because she wanted to rock and roll?
21. Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Yeah. Lame. You really shouldn't have a setup that makes it so obvious what the punchline is going to be. "Rock" is right there in the setup. Just weak.
22. Eric M., Chicago, IL
What do you get when you send a cow to Alaska?
Ice cream? Ice milk?
22. Cold cream!
The exclamation point is [sic], and boy do I not get this joke. I mean, obviously I get it. But of all the possible answers... COLD CREAM? I mean, yeah, it's not any funnier if the answer is "ice cream" and it's obviously much more predictable. But... COLD CREAM? Good God. I don't really have anything to say about this. What can you say?
This one was grape, or "uva" if you speak Spanish, since the wrappers are bilingual. It actually makes me wish I only spoke Spanish, since the jokes are the only text on the wrappers that don't get translated.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Wrapper 40: It's raining money
13. Suzanna C., Salt Lake City, UT
When does it rain money?
There's a pretty bad pun coming here; you can see it a mile away. Off the top of my head I can't think of what it might be, but I'm confident it will suck.
13. When there is a change in the weather.
Ugh. That's even worse than I was expecting. And it doesn't even really work, given that "change" in the money sense is really a plural noun that would not have an indefinite article in front of it. Learn some grammar, Suzanna C.!
14. Randy T., Festus, MO
Which are the stronger days of the week?
Why not just "strongest"? Not the best outing for grammarians.
14. Saturday and Sunday - the rest are weekdays.
Eh. Not the worst, I guess. Might deserve a smirk if delivered to me in person by some eight-year-old kid.
This was a disgusting banana wrapper, which you can bet I will not be eating even though I bought this bag and no longer have coworkers to pawn them off on.
When does it rain money?
There's a pretty bad pun coming here; you can see it a mile away. Off the top of my head I can't think of what it might be, but I'm confident it will suck.
13. When there is a change in the weather.
Ugh. That's even worse than I was expecting. And it doesn't even really work, given that "change" in the money sense is really a plural noun that would not have an indefinite article in front of it. Learn some grammar, Suzanna C.!
14. Randy T., Festus, MO
Which are the stronger days of the week?
Why not just "strongest"? Not the best outing for grammarians.
14. Saturday and Sunday - the rest are weekdays.
Eh. Not the worst, I guess. Might deserve a smirk if delivered to me in person by some eight-year-old kid.
This was a disgusting banana wrapper, which you can bet I will not be eating even though I bought this bag and no longer have coworkers to pawn them off on.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Wrapper 39: Just like starting over
As you may have noticed - ha, just kidding, I know no one reads this - I cut off in the middle of a batch of wrappers I had pulled out last December. Then yesterday's garbage rekindled my "love" for these awful things, and I managed to find an all-Laffy Taffy bag of candy at Walgreens today, so hey! We even fly all the way back to the single digits in the joke count.
7. Michael M., Youngstown, OH
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Gonna go out on a limb here and guess "a milkshake."
7. Beef jerky.
Okay, points for avoiding the obvious. The vocabulary seems a trifle advanced for nine-year-olds, but hey, why not.
8. Vickie R., Franklin, LA
What did Jon do when his dog ate his science book?
This setup feels sufficiently tortured that we are probably in for nothing good.
8. He took the words right out of his mouth.
Well, that one's pretty ancient. I suppose it's "spiced up" by the completely unnecessary additions of the kid's name and the book's subject (why a science book, of all things? At least it wasn't a math book, I guess), but meh.
This wrapper was sour apple. That's right, four whole flavors in this bag!
7. Michael M., Youngstown, OH
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Gonna go out on a limb here and guess "a milkshake."
7. Beef jerky.
Okay, points for avoiding the obvious. The vocabulary seems a trifle advanced for nine-year-olds, but hey, why not.
8. Vickie R., Franklin, LA
What did Jon do when his dog ate his science book?
This setup feels sufficiently tortured that we are probably in for nothing good.
8. He took the words right out of his mouth.
Well, that one's pretty ancient. I suppose it's "spiced up" by the completely unnecessary additions of the kid's name and the book's subject (why a science book, of all things? At least it wasn't a math book, I guess), but meh.
This wrapper was sour apple. That's right, four whole flavors in this bag!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Wrapper 38: Faux-racism, and then pretty much actual racism
I haven't posted any of these in a while, for various reasons, but I saw some Laffy Taffy at the store today and hey, why not. The first two wrappers were kind of whatever, but the third: wow.
266. Meredith G.
What did the cabbage preacher say to his church?
You know it's going to be a good joke when it starts with this kind of a stretch. Honestly: the cabbage preacher? But okay, let's hear it:
Lettuce pray.
Probably could have seen that coming. But imagine for a second that you lived in a world where sentient produce was a thing. Don't you feel like cabbage would get pissed off if you thought it was lettuce? "What are you saying - all leafy vegetables look the same to you? That is RACIST."
267. Alfred C.
Are people really still naming their children Alfred? Whatever.
What is a parasite?
This is not a question anyone would ask, except as a response on Jeopardy!
Something you see in Paris.
I know the point of the joke - or really "joke" - is just to be a pun, but since this is a pun that only really works aurally and not in print, you end up with this, which is really just a mess. It has the added bonus of effectively looking like racism (well, ethnic stereotyping anyway) - the French are parasites! They're a horrible people, and probably they're unclean too! Word to the wise, Alfred C.: maybe just try and avoid any jokes that stir up unnecessary geopolitical intrigue.
266. Meredith G.
What did the cabbage preacher say to his church?
You know it's going to be a good joke when it starts with this kind of a stretch. Honestly: the cabbage preacher? But okay, let's hear it:
Lettuce pray.
Probably could have seen that coming. But imagine for a second that you lived in a world where sentient produce was a thing. Don't you feel like cabbage would get pissed off if you thought it was lettuce? "What are you saying - all leafy vegetables look the same to you? That is RACIST."
267. Alfred C.
Are people really still naming their children Alfred? Whatever.
What is a parasite?
This is not a question anyone would ask, except as a response on Jeopardy!
Something you see in Paris.
I know the point of the joke - or really "joke" - is just to be a pun, but since this is a pun that only really works aurally and not in print, you end up with this, which is really just a mess. It has the added bonus of effectively looking like racism (well, ethnic stereotyping anyway) - the French are parasites! They're a horrible people, and probably they're unclean too! Word to the wise, Alfred C.: maybe just try and avoid any jokes that stir up unnecessary geopolitical intrigue.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)