Wrapper 18: More homework, more skeletons

11. Nicholas W., Sandy, UT

When is homework not homework?

When it is infinity! Am I right, guys?

When it is turned into the teacher.

That's [sic]. Is the joke really as subtle as a play on "in to"/"into"? Homework is turned in to the teacher... but now it's not homework, because it's been turned into the teacher! I mean, it's either that or "it's not at home anymore since you've turned it in," which is probably even stupider.

12. Tiffany M., Superior, WI

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

A new twist on an old classic!

12. To get to the body shop.

This is another one where I wonder if it was really written by a kid. The "body shop"? I guess it's believable that a kid would have heard this phrase, but doesn't this really only work as a joke if you're aware of what a body shop actually is? Otherwise you could really put anything in here ("the skin store!") and it would make about as much sense, although I suppose eliciting that twinge of recognition is the point.

Wrappers 11-15: End of Halloween blowout

Okay, none of the remaining five is quite terrible enough for me to keep doing just one per post. I got a new bag of classic Laffy Taffy so it'll be back to the twofers, where you're virtually guaranteed one awful one per wrapper. So let's just clean these out.

What do you call it when the Easter Bunny shows up for Halloween?
Debbie L.

This is not the worst example of the form, but another thing that happens a lot with these jokes is quite a bit of straining in the setup just so the punchline makes sense.

A hoppy Halloween!

I also hate it when they repeat key words from the setup to the punchline. Never the hallmark of a good joke.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Cindy O.

I think a better question would be how they keep those pointy hats from flying off, but sure, whatever.

Scare spray

At least they trust you to get the rhyming joke here. Other than that, feh.

How do you fix a jack o'lantern?
Silvia D.

I'm getting a little suspicious that they're just making these names up. Two kids named "Silvia," really? With that spelling of it and everything?

With a pumpkin patch

One of the better puns we've seen so far, though of course it's still terrible.

What is a witch's favorite subject?
Katherine N.

Katherine N., quit bogarting the wrappers. First she rips off someone else's joke, now this?

Spelling

Not really a subject per se, is it? But I guess the punchline couldn't exactly have been "English."

Who mans a ghost ship?
Maureen H.

Ghosts?

There's a skeleton crew.

This one's not too bad, as these things go. I mean, it's not funny, but it's sort of clever, and actually relatively sophisticated. In fact I dare say it's arguably too sophisticated, in that children reading these things are unlikely to be familiar with the expression "skeleton crew," or at least not enough to get the double meaning. That's right: this joke might just be too good for a Laffy Taffy wrapper. Never thought I'd find myself saying that. Don't worry. This new bag is bound to be full of jokes for which I'd never consider saying it for even a second.

Wrapper 10: Heard it

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Katherine N.

Because they would terrify the living shit out of people and wouldn't get any candy?

They don't have any body to go out with.

Gee, that sounds familiar. Jon H. from Cocoa, FL, you just got your shit jacked! I think Laffy Taffy could definitely keep this one going, though. Let's try to think of some other places that skeletons would totally go if only they had "some body" to go with. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

Pharmacy
Baseball game
Wig store
Park
Olive Garden
Massage parlor

Wrapper 8: Predictable

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
Christine C.

Lazy bones. I mean, come on.

Lazy bones

No shit. I mean, if you're going to put these crap jokes out there, at least make it so the answer isn't so obvious. Right? Also, skeletons can't work, because they have no muscles.

Wrapper 1: Bees and Skeletons

25. Lydia F., Urbana, IL

What does a bee sit on?

First of all, let me just say that I enjoy that Laffy Taffy bothers to number their jokes. I guess this is so you'll know when you've read them all? Anyway, here's the answer:

25. His bee-hind (behind).

There's a reason people say that it kills a joke to have to explain it. That's because it's true. Granted, this joke is terrible regardless - you can practically picture your six-year-old niece coming up to you on Thanksgiving afternoon and reciting it with a hugely loud emphasis on "BEE" in the punchline to make sure you get it, followed by you having to smile and possibly fake-laugh and tell her "That's very clever!" before going back to an adult conversation that until this moment you would have sworn you'd do anything to get out of.

The point is, don't print jokes that only really work out loud because they're based on how words sound. But if you do, please don't insult my intelligence by assuming that I can't possibly parse "bee-hind" into the word "behind." This joke also sucks because "what does a bee sit on" sounds like the answer should be some sort of bee furniture pun, like "a hive chair" as a play on "high chair." Granted, that joke is also terrible and possibly harder to understand, but give me a break, it took me five seconds to come up with and I'm not dashing it off to send to Wonka Industries like Lydia F. did with her piece of shit.

26. Jon H., Cocoa, FL

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

Because he had no friends, because he was a grotesque re-animated corpse?

26. He had no body to go with him.

Or that. Sure. Kudos for not writing "he had no body (nobody) to go with him."

Just because I feel like noting these things, this one was strawberry.