Wrapper 16: Pasta primavera

The nice thing, at least where this blog is concerned, about the numbered wrappers is that I know exactly how many possibilities there are. I opened this new bag of Wonka products and pulled out all the unique joke wrappers - there were 28. The highest-numbered jokes were 285 and 286, so oh boy, we've got plenty of these to look forward to. Collect them all! Meanwhile, here were the lowest-numbered ones.

3. Brandon R., Florence, SC

Which garden has the most vegetables?

Um, a vegetable garden?

3. Flash Garden.

...whoa. I had never seen this one before, and holy shit is it impossible to decipher. I mean, I'm assuming the pun here is "Flash Gordon," but what does Flash Gordon have to do with vegetables? Is the joke just a combination of "this sounds like Flash Gordon and also a garden where vegetables grow in a 'flash' would totally have the most"? If so, that is so obtuse it's almost funny, which would be the funniest thing about this joke. Also, no fucking kidding this is joke #3. Laffy Taffy has been sold since the 1970s, and since the movie Flash Gordon came out in 1980, I'd say the early 80s is about the last time any child would have even understood the reference being made here. Good Lord.

4. Brooke K., Yardley, PA

What did the noodles say to the butter?

"Why don't you melt all over me, and then we can both be devoured in spite of our sentience?"

4. Don't try and butter me up.

Guh. At least this makes general sense, but again, I find it the epitome of laziness to have a key word carried over from the setup to the punchline. Really, you're going to give me the word that you're going to play off of, right there in the delivery? No. If that's really the best you've got, start over. And really, though I said it makes general sense, this joke is conceptually weak since if you imagine noodles serving their purpose, being buttered is not going to take away from that.

This was a banana wrapper. I could have sworn Laffy Taffy had a number of different flavors, but in this whole bag of Wonka products all I found were banana and strawberry, which just baffles me since banana is freaking awful. Where's grape? Where's sour apple? I'm not eating these things so I guess it's irrelevant, but the part where I note the flavor is not much fun if there's only going to be two.